Dumb Ways to Spend MoneyJoin the list

The Hall of Shame

Every bad decision we've cataloged, ranked by sheer dumbness — from "okay, kind of fun" to "please call your accountant."

Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$13

Yodeling Pickle

A pickle. It yodels. That is the product.

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Absolutely Not
$$$$$$30

Spitting Llama Hat

A wearable llama that spits at people.

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Absolutely Not
$$$$$$60

The Human Slingshot

A slingshot. For launching humans.

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Your Call
$$$$$$149

Pyro Mini Fireshooter

A wrist device that shoots actual fireballs.

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Absolutely Not
$$$$$$140

The Buttress Pillow

An enormous pillow shaped like a rear end.

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Absolutely Not
$$$$$$3,450

Throwflame XL18 Flamethrower

A 110-foot flamethrower, shipped to your door.

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Absolutely Not
$$$$$$125

Theodent 300 Toothpaste

A $125 tube of toothpaste.

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Absolutely Not
$$$$$$35,000

Goldgenie 24k Gold Plating Service

They will gold-plate anything you own.

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Your Call
$$$$$$10

Liquid Ass

The name is the entire marketing budget.

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Your Call
$$$$$$20

Fartin' Hot Potato

Hot potato, but it breaks wind at you.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$8

Fart Ninja

Remote-controlled flatulence from fifty feet away.

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Your Call
$$$$$$44

Scary Peeper

A realistic face that suctions to your window.

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Your Call
$$$$$$17

Shock Ball

Hot potato where the loser gets electrocuted.

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Your Call
$$$$$$22

'Cry on Cue' Tear Stick

The tear stick actors use, sold to civilians.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$40

Aztec Death Whistle

It sounds exactly like a human screaming.

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Your Call
$$$$$$35

Mysterious Box of Mystery

You pay. They send something. That is the deal.

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Your Call
$$$$$$13

Selective Listener's Ear Trumpet

A Victorian hearing horn, sold as passive aggression.

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Your Call
$$$$$$20

Name a Star Gift Box

Legally meaningless. Emotionally devastating.

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Your Call
$$$$$$6

Pop It Pal

A silicone pad for popping fake pimples.

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Your Call
$$$$$$85

Feel Flux Skill Set

A copper tube, a magnet, and physics.

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Your Call
$$$$$$25

Talking Desktop Therapist

A box that dispenses therapy cliches.

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Your Call
$$$$$$26

Couch Potato Light

A lamp shaped like a potato on a couch.

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Your Call
$$$$$$20

Talking Toilet Paper Holder

It speaks to you. In the bathroom.

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Absolutely Not
$$$$$$10

Zen Garden Litter Box

Your cat's toilet, as a meditation feature.

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Your Call
$$$$$$30

Doggie Cigars (6-Pack)

Cigar-shaped treats. For your dog.

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Your Call
$$$$$$11

Cat Wine

Non-alcoholic wine. For a cat.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$9

Screaming Goat Figurine

A tiny goat that screams on demand.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$13

Tiny Violin (with sound!)

Plays sad violin music at your complaining coworker.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$11

Mini Inflatable Tube Guy

The car-lot flailing man, shrunk to desk size.

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Your Call
$$$$$$9

Prank Thank You Card

Stationery designed to ruin someone's afternoon.

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Your Call
$$$$$$16

Toilet Timer

A sand timer so your family knows.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$13

Mini Zoltar

The fortune teller from Big, desk-sized.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$10

Bubble Wrap Tissues

Tissues that pop instead of absorbing anything.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$14

'This Is Fine' Figurine

The burning-room dog, as an object.

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Your Call
$$$$$$25

Garbage Pail Kids Tarot Deck

Two unrelated nostalgias, welded together by lawyers.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$45

Colorful Ferrofluid

Magnetic liquid that grows spikes on command.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$30

Ferrofluid in a Bottle

The cheaper way to watch liquid spike.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$12

World's Smallest Shop Vac

A working shop vac the size of a thumb.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$13

World's Smallest Blender

Blends approximately one grape.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$9

Lollipop Star

A lollipop that plays music in your skull.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$27

Slug Light

A lamp. Shaped like a slug.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$27

Homer Chia Pet

Chia Pet, but it is Homer Simpson.

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Your Call
$$$$$$13

Cigarette Candles

Candles that look like cigarettes in an ashtray.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$22

Giant Cheese Stress Ball

A wedge of cheese the size of your head.

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Your Call
$$$$$$9

Meat Sweat Towel

A towel for the sweat that meat causes.

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Your Call
$$$$$$2

Bacon Lip Balm

Two dollars. Tastes like bacon.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$8

Blobfish Squishy

The world's ugliest animal, as a stress toy.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$11

Dog Selfie Helper

A phone clip that holds a treat.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$17

Escar-Soap Dispenser

A snail that dispenses your hand soap.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$18

Magnetic Sand Hourglass

Iron filings climbing a magnet, forever.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$20

Govee Neon Rope Lights

Music-sync neon rope for under twenty dollars.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$13

Hydrocolloid Pimple Patches

Stickers for your face that genuinely work.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$14

Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Filter Dupe

Fourteen dollars instead of forty-nine.

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Surprisingly Worth It
$$$$$$13

Claw Clips for Thick Hair

Solves a real problem for thirteen dollars.

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